Introducing Our Brand New Chaff Collection on this 1st Day Of April!

by Matthew Kellso April 01, 2019 2 min read

Introducing Our Brand New Chaff Collection on this 1st Day Of April!

Introducing Chaff: Coffee-Drinking Revolutionized to the Fullest Degree

Chaff is commonly referred to as the useless and dry skin that is separated from the coffee bean during the roasting process. For the millennia that coffee has existed, chaff has always been a waste/byproduct of the coffee itself and was tossed aside.

But we have just made a breakthrough. Chaff is actually drinkable!

We have developed a steeping method specially designed for chaff in order to draw out its natural flavor notes. Firstly, you are going to need a cubic yard of chaff leaves. Then, you must purchase a commercial-size Rubbermaid Utility Tilt Truck" and get ahold of 101.27 gallons of Ionized Alkaline water in order to properly steep the chaff leaves. It's an entirely new form of coffee drinking, and we are proud to say that Sagebrush Coffee is the front-runner of this Coffee revolution. 

Our First Chaff is Sourced From 7 Different Coffees, Each With Different Country of Origins. 

There is no proven nutritional value to this new drink and it has 0% caffeine, but that does not diminish the purely existential experience that comes with this new chaff drink!

Our first chaff available to consumers, priced at only $13 an ounce, features a blend of chaff sourced from 7 different coffees, each with different countries of origin. These coffees are then roasted in 29-bean increments in order to reduce dust accumulation within the chaff leaves themselves. This roasting and separation method ensures that the natural flavor of the chaff is in the purest form possible. The chaff, as pictured above, displays flavor notes of both Saltines with some dirt on them and used paper towels after thoroughly washing your hands at a rundown gas station.

April Fools, from your friends at Sagebrush Coffee.

Matthew Kellso
Matthew Kellso


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